november6th

29 30 dimensions of compatibilty

2008-07-24T12:52:00.000-07:00

So, ~~this boy who asked me out for Saturday. Omg! Totally crushing...~~ a coworker sent me an e-mail with a link to this article, and simply wrote "UGH." I replied:

Oh, with this one we could go into the whole nature vs. nurture thing. But I, for one, don't care that I might be genetically perfect for some 5'3" man living in a hut in the middle of Asia; the fact remains I want to spend my time with someone who, you know, understands why Arrested Development was brilliant.

35 Years

2008-01-22T01:03:00.000-08:00

"Are we defending life
when we just pick and choose
lives acceptable to lose
and which ones to defend?"

--Derek Webb

concerned

2007-11-04T12:58:00.000-08:00

I always get the 'problem' girls at church, where I volunteer with the Junior High. Finally, this 'round,' I 'got' a group of total sweethearts. They give me HUGS. Hugs! It is wonderful.
Except. Of course! there's always a 'but.' A major 'but' is our new pastor is chauvinist, and although I'm not 30 years old, there's a part of me that's like, HOW LONG MUST I SING THIS SONG? And shouldn't I have moved on away from such situations that would breed and encourage such behavior? (i.e., move on to a different church that's always been too conservative, from day one, but no, Elizabeth the long suffering has stuck it out for 5 years. I keep threatening to leave but I keep chickening out...largely because of the relationships I've made/currently have there, and how much I like the junior high department.) Dude, if this guy had been the guy at the beginning of my 'tenure' there, or had been there for more than just these past 2 months, I highly doubt I would have stuck around. And. He calls me Liz. I *hate* that.
Ack! This was not what I sat down, er, laid down, on my bed to share with you, Internet. Let me get back on track...So I finally don't have The Plastics as a group who actively try to make other girls feel like shit enough so that they quit going to church (you think I'm joking about this??) and instead have lovely, lovely young women to take 'under my wing.'
The other big red flag here I was going to rant about is a grave concern for these girls' education. A bunch of them go to Christian schools. Today, one of them raised her hand (a moment of chuckling here. They RAISE THEIR HANDS with me. It's unbelievable. I'm used to scowls or shrieking, not polite, Excuse me? I have a question. I love it.)
So my young friend Lauren goes, "Do Jews believe in killing people?'
Let us refresh ourselves. This conversation is taking place in LA! Have you never run across a Jewish person, child? I was like, there are very conservative Jewish people and very liberal Jewish people and lots of people in between but no, none approve of killing people. Since I was in church I refrained from saying Why the hell do you ask?? But she must have read my mind, because she responded that they had been learning in school about how the Jews are killing people in Israel. I said it was a reality that there are extremists in every religion and culture who are so consumed with their cause, they think any means to their end is okay. Please forgive me, but I was caught off guard and the only analogy I could think of was those who kill abortion doctors, so I compared the religious/cultural extremists to them. The group gasped as they seemingly had never heard of such a thing...so hopefully that brought the point home. Eek. That remark smacked of anti-Semiticism and, well it just unnerved me. This past September, I visited my sister and her family (she married into) who are Jewish, and I went to my first Rosh Hashannah service with them. As I filed in to the big tent service (oh the irony! Big tent revival...) with a thousand others, it was eery noticing the police cars camped out at every entrance/exit. My brother in law offhandedly commented on how they're aways concerned about bomb threats, etc.
Anyway, later on this morning, another girl piped up that her science teacher decided to skip over the 'part' in her science textbook that talked about evolution because he didn't believe it. Another girl said, oh my teacher did that too! He went on and on about how he was mad it was there for most of the period and it was kind of boring. They also shared that they were learning about Islam and a few indicated that this bothered them and why should they be learning this? So what did my theology scholar self respond with? Aristotle. I said, ok, random guy said this, and I want you guys to listen, so very slowly I said: "It is a mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without necessarily accepting it." An "ooooooh" went through the room; it was very dramatic. Hopefully they actually retain that. I even suggested maybe they could consider ways to relate to those with a different faith.
Oh these Christian schools. Oh me oh my.
Sad how anti-intellectualism is still running rampant. Why aren't Christians actively engaging the world around them? I don't think the answer to that is simple....but they are teaching our children to follow in their footsteps, and that scares me.
What's so funny is that at the top of the morning, this gorgeous girl who's in another group showed me her Brio magazine. Oh, Brio...the memories...where I got advice on fashion, makeup, and guys from, uhm, this woman. Ahem, so my young friend had brought the magazine with her to show off the fact that they used a photo of her in the mag as a graphic. (which, may I add, was very well done. She looked marvelous.) I flipped through the issue and found where they had interviewed Elisabeth Hassleback highlighting her 'bravery,' being the lone voice to 'stand for Christ' on The View. *sigh*
It makes me extraordinarily thankful that of all things, my love for cheesy Christian music is what first introduced me to a 'different' Christian perspective on things. Enter CCM Magazine. I started subscribing to that at some point--I think it was 9th grade--and I quickly grew tired of Brio. CCM sounds innocent enough, but luckily my mother never read the articles at the back of the magazine, because there my mind was being polluted each month by the likes of John Fischer who constantly was railing against the Christian thing of Us Vs. Them mentality. Reading those monthly articles honestly prepared me for the shock of being presented an alternate worldview by-of all things-fellow Christians who loved Jesus--in undergrad. Thank you, Mr. Fischer.
Of course, that wouldn't have happened to begin with without two long suffering individuals. And so I also give a huge cyber shout out to Lisa and Michael, my own youth pastors who, although they weren't super radical and didn't necessarily stretch my mind to new lengths, loved teenagers. That's exactly what I needed then. And I hope to return the favor to these girls.

not at all annoyed.

2007-10-09T22:40:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to get back into the habit---er, get into the habit of blogging when I think of something, as opposed to never getting around to composing something beautiful which leads to never writing at all. Here are my rants for this Tuesday, based on what I read this evening.

1. The Oral Roberts Scandal. No, I'm not even going to go there about the blashphemous prosperity gospel that they seem to both preach and practice...rather, I'm appalled that such slanted writing was accepted as an AP article. What is being accused here makes my skin crawl; this sorry excuse for objective journalism, this clear disdain for charismatics equally angers me.

2. A general cross section of conservative evangelical leaders today? Hmm, 3/7 are of one particular tradition, another 2/7 are of one particular tradition. Out of 7, they could only come up with reps from 4 'denominations'? Also? 7/7 are white males. Also? What about the conservative Pentecostals? They're almost as common to see on these lists as are people without penises. Also? This is but one more example of why I just can't hardly ever refer to myself as conservative, politically or theologically, anymore. I suppose that's throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Still. Meantime, one of you boys want to help clean up the mess I just made, what with all the water throwing? Thanks.

3. I'm tired of reading/hearing people who got married in college address 20- and 30-something singles. Yes, please, pontificate more on abstinence; we, as a demographic, love hearing about it coming from those who were married by age 21. We eagerly await your valuable insight.

Hey, now there's an idea

2007-09-29T18:11:00.000-07:00

I think it's touching that many straight people, including celebrities, have publicly vowed not to marry their significant other until our country makes gay marriage legal.
Of course, I think it would also be touching for many people, including celebrities, to publicly vow not to have any more plastic surgery until our country's healthcare crisis gets straightened out, allowing all US citizens--including the working poor--to be able to have their life-saving surgeries without fear of financial calamity.

on being a woman

2007-09-02T20:12:00.000-07:00

In a world devoid of men, I would have to think pretty hard about what is my best physical feature. However, thanks to the forthcoming honesty of males I am aware that apparently [my xyz feature] is best. According to them. I didn't inquire about this, it's just been shared. Numerous times over the years. This information comes much to my surprise and confusion because I would never think/say that about myself. Yet, of course women are the complicated, mysterious ones...
You know, men have often shared they want brutal honesty in lieu of our subtle hints...so, although no person reads this anymore, either male or female, as I haven't posted in more than a year, I decided out of the blue tonight to post two examples of what doesn't work and two that do when it comes to picking up/getting positive attention from women. Ok, I cannot speak for all straight women, but I can speak for this particular one. Maybe three or four others too if I'm lucky.

Example #1: Guy driving down the road who is slowing down to hang his head out the window for the express purpose of wagging his tongue at me, who is sitting, minding my own business while I await my carriage driven by a partially blind sociopath (read: MTA bus driver who may or may not 'see' me waiting at the bus stop, depending on how violent or passive aggressive he feels at that particular moment)...uhm, you make me feel like a hooker. Was my jeans, t-shirt, ponytail self sitting next to a bus stop sign giving a hint that I would like to be hired out by the hour? No.

Example #2: Guys, together, in a large group, driving their cars past me, (who happens to be carrying grocery bags) yelling out some obscenity. This also does NOT work. Sorry to disappoint you, male internet. What may succeed in doing is me copying down your license plate and calling the cops. Oh that doing such a thing would produce actual results. But a girl can dream.

Example #3: I have come to realize this weekend that a great drinking game idea would be: to chug every time the producers of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, in their commentary on that film, use the term "texture." You might think you'd be ok, but I promise, you would be tanked. Why is that relevant to the topic at hand? It's not. But, I'd like to share that if you not only sort of look like but also swagger towards me on a Bogota dance floor a la Mr. Smith in the second scene of that movie, that would really work.

ahem.

Where was I?
Oh, I was going to end with a little true story. Tonight I was avoiding going home to my un-air conditioned abode. So my sweaty self was hanging out in a bookstore: messy hair in a messy updo, wild curls protruding God knows how many directions under the heat, shirt that really needs to experience the inside of a washing machine after the 103 degree afternoon we had, cropped jeans, and my look finsihed off with a set of 10 unpolished toes in flip flops that practically walk themselves they're so old. I was headed towards the check out but a book's title, Skinny Bitch in the Diet section (ha!), caught my eye, so I stopped and picked it up to browse. While flipping through, i became aware of a voice talking on a cell phone. Typically this annoys me but honestly it wasn't all that loud and I wasn't in a small enclosed space with said cell talker (are you reading this, loud talker-real estate fiend, who sees the same chiropractor I do, while we wait in a reception area about as expansive as my linen closet?) The voice seemed to belong to an attractive man. However, I listen to strangers talk on the phone for a living. And I get to see photos of the person belonging to the voice I'm hearing. If I've learned anything on that job, it's that you cannot tell what a person looks like from the sounds of their voice. (Sometimes I am dead on but most of the time I am shocked. I think part of that is because when people call me, they're desperately trying to sound like...well, trying to not sound desperate. Trying to sound cool. but they wouldn't be calling me if they weren't losers. I mean, unlucky people.) The voice was attractive, and the voice was not going away, the voice was standing perfectly still at my 8:00 angle. So being the nosy person that I am, I turned around. Surprisingly enough, an attractive man my age (oh so generally speaking,) belonged to the voice. Attractive bookstore man (ABM) was chatting away on his cell while staring at me. Immediately I cursed the fact that I have not updated the chipped paint on my toes. Then a nanosecond later I remembered that generally we women do that kind of thing for each other. A nanosecond after that I realized that my entire ensemble was a touch ragged and I had known this before I'd ventured out to the bookstore, but I'd gone anyway. A nanosecond later I realized that despite said frazzled look, I was being looked at by an ABM. And my toes were probably not what he was checking out. During this time I had locked eyes with him, ABM did not think to turn his head to at least pretend to look at something else. I thought to rearrange my feet as my stance was growing tired. A nanosecond after that, I had turned back around and decided since I had grabbed his attention standing like this, I chose not to rearrange my feet. I also stifled a smile since that would be noticeable--well, possibly. ABM kept going on into his cell phone, the sound coming from the same place, from a head that had still not turned away. Then ABM changed the conversation to the plans for this evening. He said to his caller, referring to the band playing tonight, "Oh, it's very indie." And gave specific directions to this show. I could no longer contain my smile, as just hours before I had had an IM conversation with the brilliant blogger Jennifer about being very indie. At that, however, I put the book down and walked away.
See, that basically worked. Why? Because he wasn't disgusting. This is key. And it was very charming to be admired while looking so frumpy.
Ok, no, I didn't wait around for a potential follow through. But I was hungry and already thinking about dinner. Also, ABM? Still on the cell phone. What would have really worked was putting the toy away and talking to me. In fairness, this all happened in about one minute's time. And I was really wanting to check out. Before I missed the sociopathic bus driver.

barely breathing, but alive nonetheless

2006-08-18T17:52:00.000-07:00

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggggggggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

This is the response of someone who has been subjected to one of THOSE kinds of meetings. I just sat through all-day training at my job, and can I tell you, dear internet? The last 2 hours were on one topic. One. Specific. Topic.

Although I'm not going to discuss what our topic was, let me explain what I mean by "one specific topic." No, it wasn't something like food. That's really one 'general' topic. No, it wasn't desserts. Too broad. Ice Cream? Nope, still not really one specific topic. Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream had on a Tuesday, early evening, after a delicious meal of salmon cooked by your great aunt on your mom's side served on a plate with not one, but two lemon wedges?

Yep, something like that. ONE SPECIFIC TOPIC. Anything else? Like letting your great uncle come by to help? No, no, no, no, that's off topic. What if I had a tartar sauce request? No, let's all be team players. Let's stay focused on our topic.

For two hours. Two hours. Discussed in a room of 30 people, by all of 6 of said 30 people. Six people discussing one particular topic for two hours...while the rest of us drooled while we slept, passed notes, assembled a small village of styrofoam cup-inspired condominiums, constructed our family tree, drew detailed portraits of one another, and/or wrote the first nine chapters of a forthcoming novel.

Confession

2006-05-16T20:45:00.000-07:00

Today in the lunchroom at work while I was eating my fajita this woman whipped out the ol' tarot cards and read another woman's fortune. She was being very loud about it too. The fortune teller was.
And I did not know whether to laugh or start praying in tongues. I may have done both?

Odd files...

2006-05-11T21:30:00.000-07:00

Filed under strange:
Walking up to a house you've never been to. On a darkened street with no lamplight. I knew it would be awkward, so I decided throw in a wild custume in the mix too, complete with sunglasses and a large hat and a big sign on my chest, "World's Greatest Grandma". Why not? It actually was a lovely party celebrating LA stereotypes...I played the part of tourist extraordinaire. The back of my shirt read, "Retired. 10% tipper. And in no need to move fast."

Also filed under strange:
Standing in front of all the 8th grade girls at church--a good group, although yearning to be with the high schoolers who are more mature than those stupid boys. No sign of "my girls" who are too cool for pretty much everything except Hollister and lip gloss and pink cell phones...I guess they are at a VIP event of some sort... I stand in front of legging-clad teenagers wearing ballet shoes (Oh my gosh, is this really happening again? Of course, on 100 lb. girls this does, in fact, look cute. But damn those fashion magazines trying to get average sized women into those treacherous things again!) I say to the large crowd, "8th grade, eh? You guys were born in--" "1991!" "1992!" Hm, I reply. I was in 8th grade soon after that. In the nineties. The nineties? they ask. Tell us about the 90's, they implore. Gosh, these girls are so much nicer than my own. Well, I begin, the decade for me started in 5th grade and ended with a college internship. So, yeah, the nineties...grunge, Kurt Cobain--who died when I was in high school-
Who?
Excuse me, what do you mean, 'who'?
So I put off the lesson for a few more minutes to do a quick history lesson in culture and the evolution of rock from the days of makeup, big hair, and squeeling guitar solos to fuzzy guitars and feedback. Their heads nodded when I directed them to VH1's flashback shows, at least.
"How did you explain what has come out of grunge?" my bf asked later.
"I didn't have all day, and they don't have that long of attention spans!" I defended.
"You should have made reference to Courtney Love-- then they would have known what you were talking about."

And finally, while I'm on the 'old' roll:
Having a bus in L.A. drive past me, oblivious to my frantic jumping up and down and waving.
OH WAIT, NO, THAT'S NOT ODD.
HAPPENS ALL THE F-ING TIME.
What is different, however, is having a vehicle pull up next to me offering to give me a ride.
Well, ok, that sort of happens a lot too. It's just that usually it's a pickup driven by a shady looking man who honestly looks taken back by my flat refusal. One time a guy driving a car stopped me on my way down THE LEFT HAND SIDE OF THE STREET to ask which way I was headed. Think about that one for a sec.
Anyway, this time it was a woman in a mini van with a kid sitting in the back, and I was on the phone with my bf. I was kind of desperate... I did a once over of the car and driver and said into the phone, "I'm about to get into the car with a complete stranger. I will call you back." What's fascinating is that I was just seconds before throwing a wild tantrum in public, screaming vulgar obscenities. Moments later I was sitting in this van telling this woman that I am a student at the seminary down the road. What a great billboard I was. She was so generous as she drove me to the train station-- safely too, I may add. Our conversation was pretty interesting. She was on her way to take her son to his piano lesson at the time. I casually mentioned that I took piano when I was a girl. The woman replied, "Well, [my son] is learning some really interesting things. I don't think they teach piano now like how they did when we were kids."
*Blink*
*Gulp*
When we were kids?
When did I become old enough to be a soccer mom driving a mini van? When did this occur, people? I stole a glance at this woman. The late afternoon LA sun was shining directly in my eyes and she had sunglasses on, so I couldn't detect any crow's feet (although how can anyone in La-la land?) but the rest of her face indicated she was maybe five years older than me or so. Sheesh.
But seriously though, the angel in the minivan was very interested in my studies and it was actually encouraging. It really was. Oddly, strangely, the whole situation was like a reminder of the finger of God which every once in a while makes its presence known so vividly in my life. God cared about my desire to go see friends on the other side of town and God is interested in my studies, my plans for the future. I think I'll make it after all.

All I can do

2006-05-04T18:05:00.000-07:00

I woke up today on my glorious day off, headed into the bathroom, and then returned to my bedroom to turn on my laptop for my daily dose of information.
Just then, the phone - the land line- rang. I enjoy asking telemarketers for their home phone number so I can call back when it is convenient for me, so I picked it up. Well, wouldn't you know it, it was a recording of a woman representing a group that calls itself "One Nation Under God." I can't locate them on the internet, although I have been trying all day. This recording has called me before, but at that time I did not have the time to wait for a representative to get on the line with me. They are a group of Christians who are very concerned that the sanctity of marriage is being threatened by same sex marriage legality. The recording talked of the state of Massachusetts hurting the rest of the country by allowing gays to marry...the reasoning being that this will be considered legal even in states that don't support that legislation and eventually this will lead to ploygamy and a host of other atrocities. Yes, I just woke up, but yes, I pushed #1 to speak with a rep to put my name on their petition.
Which of course I didn't.
But this time, I immediately got through to a rep (last time I was on hold for 10 minutes so I just hung up.) "Do you wish to support the ban on same sex marriage?" she dryly greeted me. "Well," I replied, "actually I don't. I'm also concerned about the state of affairs in this country but I do not feel this is a pressing issue. I'd love to be able to maybe share with you why I think so." I honestly, truly, said this kindly and without attitude.
*Grunt* "WHY." She responded very impatiently, not with a hint of interest or a hint of preparedness she surely must have been trained in for this job.
"Well....I'm a Christian, too, and I would like my voice to be heard-I mean, I don't know if you take notes here, but I just wanted to let you know what I believe--"
"Hold on."
And with that, she put me through to someone whose name I do not recall. I should have written that down, but I did manage to write down points of our ensuing conversation. The guy I spoke with was a little more people friendly than the young woman had been. I was quite surprised when he actually agreed with me that this is not the most pressing issue our country is facing right now. Not "by any means," he said. But they are "concerned about the way the country is headed..." As I type this, I wonder why I even explain in detail what he was saying. As if this is new. As if I did not grow up in churches where I heard this rhetoric once a month at least and as if I did not grow up reading this in the Focus on the Family and American Family Association and Concerned Women For America publications my mother subscribed to. I've written school reports about these things. There is nothing new about this. I almost want to laugh at the things I read online when liberal people and organizations are starting to get so concerned that a theocracy is upon us. Not to say that that is a possible destination with the way things are headed, not to say that we should not be concerned, but on the other hand, people, this has been going on for years and years. This is not new propoganda. I don't know--maybe I did not have a typical religious upbringing--what, with David Barton being my pastor's good friend and college roommate and all, and his freebie speaking engagements at church...sigh.
What is new is that I have turned my back on this. What is new is I am now an adult. I was fortunate enough to have fantastic education which encouraged my faith AND propelled me to think critically. At the same time. Also, I am no longer naive about a lot of things. When this gentleman talked about the Bible condemning a man sleeping with a man, I pointed out that this may very well be in reference to a-na*l sex which we now know is the best way to transmit STD's and at the very least general bacteria which can lead to infection, etc. if certain measures are not taken. Germs and the like were not things that ancient peoples knew anything about. This was probably less an indictment against those who are attracted to members of the same sex than it is a statement on how God is good and He was protecting His people by including a host of laws concerning sanitation. At this, the man chuckled. Chuckled. How, then, do you think ga:y me}n have [sex with each other? he asked me, knowingly. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, sir? There are other ways to engage in sexual activity, I tried to say in a mature, grown up manner.
Yes, I jumped into this mess. No, I am not complaining. I just wanted them to know that not everyone who opposes them are immoral people with anti-Christian agendas. This I said to him, literally. I love the Lord as well, I explained. Granted, I haven't used that phrase in a while simply because of translation and cultural reasons. But I was being, in that moment, culturally sensitive and I knew my audience.
I'm positive that my phone call did not go into anyone's notes and will not make a dent in their political campaign. But that man knows in his heart that he had a normal conversation today with someone who disagreed with him, but who did not start yelling and being disrespectful, rude, or offensive for meanness' sake. He did, however, engage in an actual conversation with someone who is, at once, evangelical and liberal.

the shirt says it all-er, lots of it

2006-04-14T15:49:00.000-07:00

I'm delighted yet depressed at the same time. I'm currently watching Oprah which today is about living in poverty while working for minimum wage. During a commercial break, I checked the mail and I got something special...my recent splurge: I have been lusting after an idea that for a long time was just an idea. This afternoon it now is my reality that I can hold in my hands. When you are making less than minimum wage (the unemployed life) anything other than food and shelter and the almighty internet access is a splurge. So yes, I am keeping this in perspective. I finally have a job that has just barely taken me above poverty level in my city. It makes me feel so "rich". Of course I am not rich, because I have debts to repay that will take a long time to complete. Is the answer to all this to simply raise minimum wage? I don't think it's that simple. What would have to occur is a progressive raise in wages. By the time you get to, say, the $40,000 salary bracket my progressive increase idea would cap. But at that salary range, one is no longer making an hourly wage anyway, usually, right? All the extra money that companies would have to doll out for this increase could just come from the excess amount of the CEO, CFO, COO, and Presidents' salaries! See, isn't this easy?!
Seriously, though, I have more liberal opinions these days on political issues. I have had such ideas for several years now, and it's taken this long to become a true convert. My conversion experience has been a long and windy road, from knee-jerk conservatism to bleeding heart liberal. Ha. One day I will write about my experiences in detail...although I don't think it would ever really fit in one blog post. There are many angles to take. Hm. Thoughts for another time.
In the meantime, back to the first paragraph when I spoke of my "splurge." Guess what it is? I finally have a shirt proclaiming this blog's tagline. Said shirt was purchased from here. The shirt itself turned out exactly how I thought it would. The bad news is that their guarantee of shipping to the west coast within 6 days is b.s. It took 12 days (not counting Sundays.) That stinks, but I must confess: the shirt makes me giddy.

* * ** * ** * * ** * * **** * * * ** * * ** * * * * **** * * * * ** **** **

For real, though, today, on Good Friday, let us bow before the One who became like one of us. A slob like one of us. Today, as we acknowledge the day He took on all of our diseases, all our addictions, our inadequacies, our failures, our shortcomings...all so that we wouldn't have to make it on our own.
Thank you.

Cell Phone Messages

2006-03-26T13:51:00.000-08:00

I had been noticing that I'd been getting calls recently, but no voice mails. My phone would ring, I would perhaps ignore it for a variety of reasons...and no beep would sound, and no icon would appear, indicating I have a new message. Don't we all screen calls? Well, to an extent? If an unknown caller is ringing me, I usually don't answer it. This is because it probably is a wrong number such as the case the other day when I actually did pick up on a random number and the dude was looking for Mustang car parts. In the case of my boyfriend, when I call him, I rarely leave him messages at all, because if he doesn't pick up, then I know to call back later or he will see that I called and call me back when is convenient for him. No big deal. In the case of my brother, oh mighty man of infinite things to say, when he calls, I usually plug my ears, pretending I don't hear the phone. My brother is a peculiar person. He detests talking on the phone with me if I'm doing something else at the time. Now, mind you, I am not, repeat NOT, one of THOSE people who blabber on in a loud voice into their phone about their sister in law's surgery while perusing the racks at the local discount store. I for the most part do not talk on the phone while on the freeway--hello! But like, if I'm sort of in the middle of something and I tell him that, he will emphatically tell me to get off the phone, even if it's something that is no big deal. No, really. He gets angry. He's hung up on me because my life doesn't revolve around him. Another aspect of his quirkiness is what I referred to above--he will talk forEVER. And ever. I seriously have to set aside two hours of my day to talk to him if we haven't talked in a while...which is currently the case. If I say, hey-I actually need to go--again, he will get angry. In his mind, I shouldn't have started talking to him if I didn't have time to talk. Nevermind that our current conversation may have been going on for 45 minutes. And his voice mail messages are always long and involved, at least two minutes.
Also, in what you will see is a related topic in a second here, I scratched someone's car in a parking garage the other day. Not good. So I left my number on their windshield to quell the DEAFENING VOICE OF GOD inside my head. That voice's opinion won because that day it happened to be a lot louder than the Elizabeth voice's opinion which was TRYING to yell things like "Just drive away, dammit!" but could only manage a conversational level.
Anyway. Back to the cell phone. I'd been getting random calls, including calls from my brother, but with no message popping up. I just thought they were wrong numbers, and the like, and in my brother's case, well, I just thought that he had FINALLY changed and realized, "Eh. She'll call me back when she has time."
Nope.
My phone just decided to stop letting me see if I had new messages. (YES I have "message notification" turned ON and customized) I went into the system and discovered I had accumulated 9 new messages in the past several days, including the angry car owner, her pimp, and the frantic voice of my brother: "ARE YOU DEAD?!"
Not yet, dear brother, but soon, apparently, according the person who called before you.
Like random angry car person-stranger is going to believe this story. Sigh.

Breathing and alert

2006-03-23T08:36:00.000-08:00

Yes, I'm alive! Also, and much more wonderfully, the remaining CPT members who had been held hostage in Iraq are alive and well this morning. And I'm sort of weirded out by the fact that the American version of Voice of the Martyrs does not seem to have anything on their site concerning this, and although the Canadian site did do a post when they were originally captured, they have nothing up today. I guess they only support conservatives. Leave the liberals to be tortured by terrorists.
YAY FOR CHRISTIAN UNITY!

In the name of love

2006-02-03T17:07:00.000-08:00

How I love him.
Sad, that the world pays more attention and is enormously more enamored with a famous sexy rock star saying these things than we would with an official political theologian because, I guess, they're not as pretty. I recently read an evangelical critique of Bono, saying our obsession with him is not healthy, and the writer also pointed out his sometimes shaky theology. My response is that I, for one, never accused Bono of having an air tight systematic theology. I just always liked his music. I have always found him handsome. I have always been attracted to the quintessential rock star persona. And I am thrilled whenever a person of wealth and power uses that for an actual good purpose. The fact that Bono throws faith into his music and his politics is icing on the cake, in terms of my admiration of him. In terms of what God's doing in the world overall, well, perhaps we need to wait and see. But I think God works in different kinds of ways and the ways don't always fit into a nice, neat package with a beginning, an end, a top, and bottom. If God was going to wait until we got our act together and were perfect before he used us as prophets and agents of change, before He did anything in the world, well, nothing would ever happen. I think we should be glad something is happening. Praise God.

Recut.

2006-01-31T15:21:00.000-08:00

Sleepless...

The one where Elizabeth meets Rachel Weisz

2006-01-30T19:14:00.000-08:00

Ah, celebrity. I've always had an unhealthy attraction to them. And I always peruse People in the checkout lane. Oh, ok, fine. Actually I flip through bottom-of-the-barrel rags like Us and Star. No, I don't know why. Fortunately this has not propelled me into anorexia or other self-loathing. In fact, I love to laugh at how fame and money and plenty of stylists do not necessarily create good taste...and so explains my adoration for this website. But on the other hand I very, very easily get star struck. In four-plus years of living in L.A., international land of celebrity, I have only run across a smattering of fancy people--and mainly D-list, at that. Of course this has more to do with the fact that while I live in the general vicinity of the crazies, I do not live anywhere near Malibu or other ocean-front towns; and I don't live in THE valley-I live in a lesser known valley.
One of the biggest names I have come across since living in L.A. was while I not even there-I was 3,000 miles away in New York City. What the heck! My sister who was lucky enough to marry into upper middle class money (one small step for humankind, one giant leap for a member of our family) currently resides in a Trump tower. One day I was living large and visiting her and many friends in the Big Apple (my favorite city to visit) and I found myself hanging out in the lobby, waiting for her to return home. A car pulled up in front and out from it--BTW, I would like to take this moment to point out here that I'm completely straight--a set of legs emerged. She strolled in, decked out in tall boots, a short skirt, and one hell of a commanding presence. She passed right in front of me and looked down curiously at me before heading to the elevators and I realized it was Mary J. Blige! Later I squealed (remember, I'm easily amused) to my sister and brother-in-law, "Did you know she lived in your building?" As the words were spilling out I realized that Mr. and Mrs. Narrow-Minded Pasty White have probably no idea who she is. "Oh, really?" came the perky reply. Later that day, the confession: "Um, yeah, I don't believe I know who she is." Recently, the same couple has tried to tell me that Beyonce and Jay-Z also live in their building (where they've even heard of them, I don't know) because of the following: a black man and woman were in the elevator with them this one time. The black guy had on a shirt that said Jay-Z and the woman was petite. Yep, sounds exactly like them. Way to go, guys!
Then also there was the time when I catered the reception of the wedding of an ER cast member. No George Clooney sightings, but I enjoyed serving stuffed mushrooms to Noah Wiley all the same.

Anyway. All that to finally get to my point of writing this entry...
I had the experience of catering one of the after parties for the big award show that was going on in La-La land last night. I saw so many stars...I was counting them this morning as my poor legs and lower back and shoulders recuperated from the night before and I think I've come to 39. Thirty nine famous, pretty people. At least in my section...obviously there were many more but they didn't feel the need to stop by my corner of the VIP area for some reason. I won't bore you with the entire list but... Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Philippe walked right by me--she's so tiny and pretty...so is he. This, right after Nick Lachey breezed past me as well. No hello! Oh, but then this guy winked at me! He totally thought I was checking him out! Ew, no! Not when all of these guys were milling around! Please. And I was happy that I got to see two representatives from the best show ever. Oh, I almost forgot...this goes one goes out to Jenn: I saw Andrew Firestone!! He was wandering around aimlessly at an actor's award party, I guess to find someone willing to chat with a guy whose claim to fame is owning a winery but was hugely unsuccessful.
But the coolest part of the evening was when Rachel Weisz came over to my section and immediately was interested in what her friends were eating. Doesn't she look a tad diva-ish? Well, I jumped in and offered to get her something. She proceeded to ask in her delightful British accent about what was available and explaining to me what she wanted, including a no on the salmon because "I'm pregnant and I don't fancy much seafood." Yes I understand this tidbit is not too exciting but she was so, so sweet and gracious, not condescending, and actually looked me in the eye when she spoke to me. I felt like I was having a chat with a gal pal over for dinner. You know, one of those old friends who has done a movie with Ralph Fiennes.

Then, there's also Conan O'Brien's State of the Show Addresses...

2006-01-29T13:24:00.000-08:00

The first January I was on the west coast was the one in which President Bush first infamously referred to four countries as "the axis of evil." I turned on my tiny black and white tv on the night of the State of the Union at 9 PM only to find sitcoms on. Surely L.A. wasn't THAT shallow! I scratched my head, and then turned it off, returning to my studies. An hour later, I realized that for the next few years of my life the speech would be on at 6 PM, not 9. Hi, I gradiated college! The next morning in class the speech with the horrifying content was discussed. Later, my school president's response to said State of the Union was an explicitly stated concern that the leader of the free world call countries- people- evil, when actually according to Christian tradition, the only thing evil is the evil one, sin itself...not the real or supposed embodiment thereof. Yet the class and that moment really pushed me out of my closed little world of not paying attention to the news. I have always had at least a mild interest in politics; hence I knew when the state of the union address was. Kind of. Yet I didn't take the time/effort to 'research' the time online...nor was I keeping up with news anyway. During college, I sort of shut down my knowledge of what was going on in the world and retreated to my own little world. Fortunately I had some professors who refused to let that happen to its fullest extent and they ended up really challenging my worldview. Still, I chose not to pay too terribly close attention to the nation and world's affairs until after that State of the Union address, after that class. Of course, the way I encountered the world around me at that point had already been shuffled around greatly. (Bunny trail: I intentionally don't mention the professor or class name out of protest for the fact that he or she actually scolded me in his/her office [during an informal meeting/chitchat] for doodling in class. Me! Wow, wrong person to say that to! And at Fuller, too! "Drawing is the root of everything." -Vincent Van Gogh)
Ahem.
Anyway, now, here we are, a few years later, and another State of the Union is upon us this week. Before the Bush version is mumbled to us, I humbly refer you to a Faithful State of the Union.
Read...
and pray.

"D is for decent, I mean what I say. Obscene? I don't play that way"*

2006-01-26T12:40:00.000-08:00

I'm one of those po' fok...I'm barely scraping by so I do not have the luxury of buying myself an ipod. But thankfully there is internet radio! I have listened to launch on yahoo for a few years now and have built a nice station, but recently it's been giving me problems so I decided to check out Pandora. I was skeptical when I first heard about it a month or two ago...I don't know, something about the layout or something. Whatever. Anyway, so I like that you can make separate stations under one email, because after all, we are a schizophrenic society and most bloggers seem to be pretty broad in their musical tastes--as am I. So today I felt like bopping my head to contemporary praise music. Pandora keeps playing non-religious music. It claims to be smart but it is not smart enough to distinguish music's lyrical quotient. Of course this brings me to fun yet tiresome arguments concerning Christianity and music, and more broadly, God and art. My understanding of God is big enough to allow for, and be in the midst of, beauty for beauty's sake.
But sometimes a girl just wants to 'rock out'** to some Third Day!

*Twelve points awarded to any reader who owns/ed a cd or TAPE with this song on it.
**to be said aloud with the finger motions for "quote". sometimes real quotes just aren't enough.

The multi-billion dollar monster

2006-01-24T16:48:00.000-08:00

If you'd like to read thoughtful articles on pornography and Christianity and feminism and the like, you should probably read one of his posts, because this is not going to be one. This is going to be a rant.

I just discovered (through Myspace, which I have really only for my junior high tyran--er, lovelies) that a young woman with whom I attended college (a small, evangelical one in Western upstate NY) has gone and a.) gotten a boob job, b.) gotten a mystic tan, c.) learned how to apply heavy eye makeup, and d.) managed to get into Playboy in the past year. I don't write this because I think it's shocking to my handful of readers, mind you--I just write it because I felt like sharing that this information caused the following response from me: tears.

I have sat and listened to two different married women-both of whom are dear friends-express their pain and struggles with being married to men who have a porn addiction. I hate that. I've been around less than 30 years. How many more conversations do I have to have like those?

After growing up in a conservative Christian environment, I can finally say I've found a valid "slippery slope" argument that does not have to do with narcotics. Seriously, if you listen to secular music you will NOT automatically become a raging atheist. If you have drunk 2 glasses of alcohol in the past 6 months (and alcoholism is not rampant in your family) you have a great chance of NOT becoming a wife beater who boozes away his job and family and home. But, there is something truly incredibly dangerous called heroin. If you experiment with it, you have a fantastic chance of becoming addicted and letting it thereby control and ruin your life. Slippery slope. Don't touch heroin. Similarly, I dare you, reader-DARE you to show me 3 men who regularly view porn and whose viewing has not steadily increased over time in terms of frequency and, shall we say, intesity. Show me 3 men who simply decided to stop cold turkey and have never gone back or even desired to do so. Find a man or woman who has stopped and you'll probably see someone who has a 12-step-type of support all around her/him.

And, let's be even more blunt about porn's audience: it's not just your hot young datable guys. It's married/in-a-committed-relationship people as I established in an earlier paragraph, also your creepy uncles, seriously scary strangers on the subway, strange hermit neighbors, men who don't believe in personal hygiene, and child molesters, too. Don't forget that. The general public is, well, the general public.

And, if I hear one more C-list celebrity defend her pornographic magazine/movie choices by saying "I'm just really comfortable in my sexuality" or "I wanted to show that I'm a strong woman" I'm going to pull my fingernails off one by one. I really believe that a strong woman is one who posesses strength in not only her sexuality, but also in her intellect, her emotions, her finances, her career, her familial relationships, her same-sex friendships, her opposite-sex friendships, her physical health........ So on and so forth. Sex is ONE ASPECT of life. Sex becomes a terrific monster if it's ignored and it becomes a terrific monster if it is fed too much attention.

Not in the UK; only in London

2006-01-20T18:07:00.000-08:00

This just in!

Paris' intellect not so hot

Must...hold back...wave of remarks...

Suffering for Jesus on a tropical island

2006-01-19T09:37:00.000-08:00

Dude, so I'm just now googling the place where my friend is heading to later this year. She's going to live there for two years, hopefully forever after that, working with poverty and AIDS-stricken families in Africa. Sounds extreme and admirable, right? Yeah, but I just was rereading her newsletter from last month and realized it said "island" and so I googled it:

Yeah, sufferin' for Jesus - whatever.

of strangers and Justin

2006-01-18T09:07:00.000-08:00

I just discovered this site this morning. Pretty cool.

Speaking of pretty cool...

:)

Breakdown of the most influential Christians in America...

2006-01-17T10:15:00.000-08:00

1 (number of full time academics)

26 (number of southerners)

44 (number of whites)

45 (number of men)

46 (number of Protestants)

50 (number of people on the list)

Thanks toThe Church Report and Evangelical Outpost.

stillers love n'at

2006-01-15T16:39:00.000-08:00

Sorry, Jessica and gRegor, about your football team. heheheheheheheh.
You know, there's a reason I tend to avoid sports...I'm emotional enough without watching a team break my heart. But, I am a fair weather fan which means I've been a fan of the Steelers since Bill Cohwer came. This is the only time of year I care about anything related to sports. And let me tell you, the last few minutes of today's game almost gave me a heart attack, but I have survived. Seriously, the guy who has not fumbled once this season fumbled in the last minute of the game, and then the guy on the other team who has not missed a field goal at home all year missed in the next few seconds. Crazy.

INDIANAPOLIS -- Forget the first 55 minutes, when the Pittsburgh Steelers dominated the Indianapolis Colts. And no one will remember much how they scored all the points.

What they'll be talking about in Pittsburgh for years to come is those last five, thrilling minutes, a wild finish made of missed opportunities, gut-wrenching twists and one unimaginable, tide-turning play after another.

The Steelers won their sixth consecutive game Sunday, 21-18 over the Colts, becoming the first sixth seed to advance to a conference championship game. When the Steelers (13-5) catch their breath, they'll head to Denver, with the winner next Sunday representing the AFC in the Super Bowl.
More...

What's tough is the fact that my boyfriend is a die hard Broncos fan, being from Denver and all, so I doubt I'll be able to watch the game next week with him...

Found under Blogger's "Blogs of Note"

2006-01-13T14:32:00.000-08:00

From Freewayblogger:

I swear I've seen this but she? he? did not disclose where in California this is. If not in the LA area, perhaps I've seen this because there is more than 1 freeway sign person. It's a conspiracy!

Also, I laughed out loud at the AP's coverage of Stephen Colbert's war on them. Did anyone else?

10 1/2 days

2006-01-10T12:19:00.000-08:00

My sister had contractions for 8 days before they started coming 5 min. apart. Then the 5 min. apart contractions occurred for another 16 hours before her water broke and then another 13 hours happened before she actually gave birth. Lovely. But the best news of all of course is the fact that baby, mom, and dad are fine and I get to be an aunt again.
My phone rang at 4:40 this morning and they were using I guess a hospital phone instead of their cells because I guess the cell wasn't getting reception (there's a reason I do not have Verizon). Anyway, I had been making sure I had my phone by my bed every night this week in case of this call, but when it finally happened, it was my general ring instead of my family ring and it was a 646 #. That happens to be close to 626, kind of, and in my dreamy state I thought someone had the wrong number so I didn't answer it. Then a moment later it beeped saying I had a message and I immediately knew I should have answered the phone. When I spoke to my sister yesterday she managed to call me in between her contractions and she sounded so weak and well, terrible. If I didn't know what was happening, I would know something major was going on. Well, this morning when I called them back, both she and my brother in law again sounded very different but this time, in a good way. It's so interesting how you can hear it in someone's voice, that their life has changed. My bro-in-law sounded so proud and my sister, so happy. Yeah, yeah, this all sounds so cliche but it's true.

Boldly laughing in the face of progress

2006-01-06T12:17:00.000-08:00

From one of my dear mother's favorite organizations to which she has faithfully contributed for decades comes this year's "Evangelical Women of the Year." They write:

Most of the mainstream media lists of "outstanding" women, frankly, leave us a bit cold --too often, they are famous for being celebrities. When they are "ordinary" women doing "extraordinary" things -- as in the most recent issue of Jane magazine -- their exploits fail to inspire. For instance, Jane highlights a 29-year-old woman who makes her own clothes so that she doesn't patronize sweatshops... (boldface mine)

*sniff* What a pagan! Evangelicals do it better! For instance, woman #3 on their list-in-no-particular-order is a businesswoman on QVC. The only credentials and achievements listed for this woman are in this sentence:

[Her] elegant, yet inexpensive, items are carefully chosen for women who want their homes to reflect warmth and hospitality without extravagance.

Uh, am I supposed to be inspired by that? No heartwarming rags-to-riches story, no grand overcoming-the-odds story, no creative spin on an old idea, no bold non-conformist statement...Just, she sells cute things! Isn't that awesome! Hey, we can make fun of QVC and those who shop there, but can I make fun of someone who is probably milking that for all its worth and possibly helping put her kids through college? Nope, not gonna do it. But hail her as an 'evangelical of the year' for selling knick knacks for the home? By the way, would this woman be on the list if she sold car parts? Or stock options?

The other thing that is amazing about this list is that the very first woman listed is someone who has "worked tirelessly to counter human rights abuses in North Korea." That truly is impressive, but said in the next breath after bashing someone who is against sweatshops? Hello?

I'm old.

2006-01-05T13:12:00.000-08:00

Why I had a weird dream involving senior prom, I don't know. Why I woke up with a 90's rock song in my head as a result, I also don't know. But what I do know is that just about the only great part of high school was the music. *Currrently listening to 90's music online...*

The best part was drinking with family that I chose, a.k.a. my best friend

2005-12-31T00:14:00.000-08:00

I've been catching up on my blog and news reading now that I have safely made it home to Los Angeles from my Christmas vacation. It's hard to say whether I had a good time or not. Interspersed in my dysfunctional family-o-rama across two states were some great moments. Said good moments came for the most part during my 2 days' time spent with one of my favorite non-relatives, A, whom I've known for 11 years.
But all of this was against the backdrop of a crazy family. I would post interesting snippets of conversation but it's too close to the situation to make any of them funny. It's too sad to be funny. I tried already to start, while on the plane, but I reread it and it just is too damn depressing. As I was saying in above paragraph, I've been reading my regular blogs and it seems like everybody had a great Christmas and got great presents. Where are the blogs by people of dysfunctional family descent? Better yet, POOR, dysfunctional family ancestry?

WHAT I REALLY WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS 2005:

My airline ticket paid for by someone other than me. (Technically it was, but another several hundred of my dollars went to a plane ticket for a family member's funeral a few months ago. To have both tickets paid for would be preferable since I'm the only student in the family.)

Not to be asked by person A about person B (since A & B do not speak to each other) and vice versa.

Not to be given guilt trips by both parties when I flatly refuse to take part in the above nonsense.

More than 2.5 hours total spent with my baby niece.

Not to be given news on Christmas Day that a longtime friend of the family had just unexpectedly passed away.

Cold, hard ca$h which would bring my bank account to a number, any number at all, that does not have one of those pesky minus sign in front of it.

"i have no gift to bring...i'll play my drum for him, i played my best for him" -the little drummer boy
"when all I want is you..." -U2

shout out to Larry Norman

2005-12-20T01:43:00.001-08:00

I was born an orphan in a land that once was free,
in a land that poured its love out on the moon.
And I grew up in the shadows of your silos filled with grain
but you never helped me fill my empty spoon.
And when I was ten you murdered law with courtroom politics
and you learned to make a lie sound just like truth.
But I am older now and I don't fall for all your tricks
and you've lost the one advantage of my youth.
You kill a black man at midnight just for talking to your daughter,
then you make his wife your mistress and you leave her without water.
And the sheet you wear upon your face is the sheet your children sleep on.
At every meal you say a prayer you don't believe but still you keep on.
And your money says, "In God we trust," but it's against the law to pray in school
You say we beat the Russians to the moon, but I say you starved your children to do it.
You are far across the ocean in a war that's not your own
and while you're winning theirs you're gonna lose the one back home.
Do you really think the only way to bring about peace
is to sacrifice your children and kill all your enemies?
The politicians all make speeches while the newsmen all take notes
and they exaggerate the issues as they shove them down our throats.
Do they really think it's up to them whether this country sinks or floats?
Well, I wonder who would lead us if none of us would vote.
Well my phone is tapped and my lips are chapped from whispering through the fence
You know every move I make or is that just coincidence?
You say that you can make my life a little less like jail
if I promise to make tapes and slides and send them through the mail?
You say all men are equal, all men are brothers,
then why are the rich more equal than others?
Don't ask me for the answers, I've only got one
that a man leaves his darkness when he follows the Son.

turn left at the next sand dune

2005-02-11T11:30:00.000-08:00

"Under extreme pressure to detail an exit strategy for Iraq, President Bush said at a White House briefing today that he would not designate an exact timetable for a withdrawal of U. S. troops but added: 'The fastest way to bring the troops home would be through Iran.'
After reporters gasped, the president explained that bringing the troops home through Iran would be 'the most direct route' and then produced driving directions from Mapquest to back up his claim.
But less than an hour after his remarks, Iranian President Mohammad Khatami blasted Bush's proposal, arguing that bringing U.S. troops home through Iran was far from the most direct route and was, in fact, going in the wrong direction."
-Andy Borowitz, LA Times Opinion, 2.11.05

I've never bathed in yogurt, and I don't look good in leggings, and...

2005-02-04T13:24:00.000-08:00

This is the story of one girl's Christmas vacation.

Once upon a time in the year 2004 there was a girl who lived far away from her family. Her family lived in a town where the ketchup princess had married a senator from a tea party town. The girl in question had moved to a sunny town where fake body parts were a common sight when one walked down the streets of glittering plastic. Anyway, the magical time of Christmas was coming and the girl used her saved up dollars from her job of taking food orders from those fake people to buy herself a plane ticket to the steel town. Her mean boss told her stories about losing her job if she bought the ticket but she did anyway. (It ended up that the girl was right: the stories were just stories: all lies. She did not lose her job by going to visit her family.)

So off she went to the city with three rivers. She had a nice time eating a couple of home cooked meals and playing "Scene It" with certain family members who seem to have viewed far too many movies and completed far too many crossword puzzles.

The Saga Begins...

Way too soon the girl's time came to an end and off she went again to la-la land. First, however, her plane ticket indicated that she stop in the would-be president's blue town. This way the girl did not have to spend as much money on her ticket from iron city to plastic city. She arrived in the only town in the country where you can pahk the cah on a snowy, wintry night and stepped onto the homebound plane.

For the next four hours she sat on said plane. Said plane sat in the same spot for all four of those four hours. Finally the nice attendants kicked the girl and the other 100 passengers off the plane and into the airport. The girl sat in said airport for the next two hours. At last, the nice attendants announced amid much delight that not only was the plane in question not going to be flying to star-town, no other planes were available for said travel for the NEXT TWO DAYS. For consolation the girl received a hotel voucher and taxi voucher. Yay for her! She went downstairs to baggage claim to retrieve her luggage and discovered that her bag was already schmoozing it up on the west coast without her! Everybody was exiting the airport at once and was in line for a taxi, so the line for the taxi was about 45 minutes long, mostly outside. Another fun fact that has not been mentioned in this tale until now is that the girl managed to leave her purse (containing her money, card, and cell phone) in a cab the previous week. The little cash that the girl had had been spent in the airport while waiting for the plane since she was hungry.

Let us now recap, shall we, the top ten details of this story until now:

-the girl knows no one in the city or the surrounding areas
-the girl has no change of clothes
-there is a snow storm outside
-the girl has no coat
-the girl has to stand in said snow storm for about an hour
-the girl has no cash
-the girl has no credit card
-this city does not contain the girl's bank (she finds this out later the next day)
-the girl has no cell phone

Merry Christmas indeed!!!

Spending Quality Time In a 20 Ft. Room...

The girl stepped into the most gorgeous hotel room she'd ever seen at 3 AM. It had high ceilings, lovely trimming, a ridiculously high bed with soft linens and tall bedposts, and a kick ass bathroom if she could say so herself. She immediately lay her head on one of the twelve pillows provided and fell promptly asleep.

When she awoke she was extremely hungry and so ordered herself a cheap breakfast. A cheap breakfast, in the case of the finest hotel in this Revolution town's room service, is around $30, in case anyone was wondering. She lost some intelligent brain cells while perusing the complimentary USA Today newspaper as she ate her eggs. The girl then slipped into her clean clothes for the day. Oh wait! The only clothes she had was what she'd been wearing the day before! Actually, she wore the long complimentary robe for the day. Then she put on her coat and went outside, exploring the city until she found a nice coffee shop. Oh wait! She had no money for a train or bus! Oh wait again! She had no coat to even go outside at all! What really happened was she began calling everyone she knew on her cell phone. Oh wait! She didn't have a cell phone! She used the $10/minute hotel room phone to call everyone instead! Things looked bleak until she sat through a marathon of "Pimp My Ride" and she was comforted knowing that several people back home had bright pink cars sporting 4-foot-high wings.

We Do Not Embrace The Denim Revolution...

Twelve hours after breakfast, the girl once again became hungry-oddly enough. She looked through the hotel information and discovered that there was a restaurant downstairs that she could charge to her room. The little note by the restaurant said "Dress code enforced". Lucky for the girl, she had a skirt in her suitcase. Oh wait! She had no suitcase! All she had was what she wore the day before (black turtleneck sweater, jeans, sneakers) and a pair of heels she had stuffed into her carry-on bag. So in her best la-la land voice she called the front desk and asked if they could overlook that this one time. They obliged and at 9 PM she left her room for the first time that day to go to dinner. When she got there, they told her they did not serve her kind. She explained in her best haughtier-than-thou voice that an exception had been made and so they let her in. She opened the menu and it was all she could do to keep from gasping aloud. The girl was awfully hungry, and the cheapest entree was $29. When she told her server her choice (the $29 item) the server glared back. Too bad for him, since the girl happens to be a great tipper for even moderate service. That kind of service was deserving of about five-ten percent! A family member had recommended over the phone that the girl "order [her]self a beer, for God's sake" and so the girl drank a drink.

Ditching Town...

Meanwhile, her only logical hope of leaving town anytime soon was her sister who lived in a big apple. The apple was actually several hours away but the girl had hope nonetheless. She left a message for her sister which apparently included a phrase along the lines of "there's a $^%*ING BLIZZARD HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!". The girl does not recall necessarily saying this but from the laughter of her sister when she did return the phone call indicated otherwise. The sister was en route to the apple from a skiing trip and was willing to take a slight 6 hour detour to rescue the stranded traveler.

Although the girl is still fighting with a certain airline and a certain hotel about the ridiculous charges that were incurred, the girl did end up having a delightful surprise vacation in a large apple. The girl was able to fly for free out of the apple back home a few days later--but not before she went to an art museum, saw a large tree or two, ate at some cramped but delightful restaurants, and enjoyed a glass of spiced eggnog or two. And she got to visit with her best friend, her brother-in-law, and her wonderful big sister who had saved the day.

dammit-i knew i should have returned that time magazine voice mail...

2005-02-02T18:55:00.000-08:00

So I just got sent the link to Time magazine's current issue: The top 25 most influential evangelical leaders today in America. Soooo shocking that most of them are influential largely in the political sense of influential. I am glad that they included two intellectuals, however. Two. sighhhhhhhhhh. It was interesting to me that certain bios were sympathetic and certain were harsh. I suppose the secular media will simply never look favorably upon Christian missions, however progressive missiology is these days. Methinks forever missions will be viewed more along the lines of the missionary school Homer Simpson once attended.
My frustration is not that TIME magazine has some satanic hidden agenda, and not that the list was practically exclusive of moderates or liberal evangelicals, because as it is, most of the visible evangelicals are conservative. But the problem is that the list was mainly those whoswe influence is political. With a few exceptions, the list could be maintained with merely a different title: "The 25 most politically infleuencial evangelicals".
I am reminded of my unreal Christmas vacation wherein i found myself in an organic coffee shop with my sometimes angry, definitely not spiritual, sister and i carried on a lovely conversation about being in love as well as evangelicalism in America. She had definitely noticed that my political views as well as certain social views had changed in recent years but was actually surprised to know that I am not the only progressive one out there. I told her of lively discussions I've had at seminary, that at one of the top evangelical institutions in this country, not everyone belongs ideologically to a red state. There are Christians out there who are blue. And there are those whose minds aren't completely made up, but in t he meantime are bright and articulate AND they love Jesus. In the sense of political mapping, my boyfriend lovingly calls me purple.
I wish there were more prominent purple evangelicals, more blue ones too. Of course there are, but as of yet, they haven't caught the attention of the media who likes to showcase knee jerk conservatism. Because after all, it's so fun to point and stare.
By the way, Joyce Meyer? Are you kidding me? The Tulsa brand of theology as I like to refer to it--there are bigger names than Ms. Meyer, don't you think? She didn't really spear-head anything. I think the editors felt guilty about not including more women.
Other lists I'd like to see:
The top Pentecostal and Charismatic Evangelicals
The top evangelical thinkers, artists, etc., etc.
Honestly, one of the first things that came to mind upon looking at this was what of our faith's many unsung heroes? Heh, heh, I guess that's something to look forward to in the next life. Perhaps some of us will be surprised to discover what God thinks is influential.